If Movie Posters Told The Truth

Movie posters and trailers are designed to convince potential moviegoers that a particular film is worth their time and and money to go watch in theaters.  Thus, the most attractive elements of a film are always pushed to the forefront, along with recognizable characters, a bit of suspense, and even some misdirection about the actual plot are all used to accomplish this.

However, if movie posters were up front and direct about what the core of the movie actually was, the posters would look a lot different.  This collection of altered movie posters shows us what would happen if movie posters actually told us the truth.

AvatarNot like you didn’t see this one coming, and a pretty accurate description, although they should have put ‘Directed by John Smith, Pocahontas and Disney’, to really tell the truth.  Actual plot:

A paraplegic marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.

Michael Jackson’s This Is ItYou know, like the child molestation charges, the creepy plastic surgery, the bizarre behavior…pretty much the entire personality, let’s just remember the music instead.  The advertised story:

A compilation of interviews, rehearsals and backstage footage of Michael Jackson as he prepared for his series of sold-out shows in London.

Humboldt CountyThough, it will probably get legalized soon enough so pretty much everywhere in the USA will be stoner’s paradise.  The promoted plot:

A disillusioned medical student is stranded for a summer in a remote community of counterculture pot farmers, the last place in the world he imagined he would discover himself.

Gran TorinoThere is no gray area, and well, there aren’t any other areas either, at least not when Clint is done with ’em.  The plot:

Disgruntled Korean War vet Walt Kowalski sets out to reform his neighbor, a young Hmong teenager, who tried to steal Kowalski’s prized possession: his 1972 Gran Torino.

Jennifer’s BodyPretty much the only reason to see the movie, was Megan Fox getting naked.  Beyond that, I don’t think there was a single redeeming quality about this film.  But hey, it’s Megan Fox.  And she makes out with a chick.  The real plot:

A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?

Clash of the TitansSome movies should just not have been remade, and this was one of them.  It was clearly an attempt to capitalize on the ‘epic style of movie’ and the sudden fad for 3D, and unfortunately, it made a decent amount of money, paving the way for it to be remade in 10 years.  The actual plot:

The mortal son of the god Zeus embarks on a perilous journey to stop the underworld and its minions from spreading their evil to Earth as well as the heavens.

Nightmare on Elm StreetHey, maybe Michael Jackson’s This Is It could get merged with this film, if the character’s face was a bit whiter.  There is pretty much nothing scarier than a haircut for this movie.  The actual plot summary:

A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality.

TwilightSorry Twilight fangirls (and fanboys?), Twilight as a whole is a snoozefest and for some reason people still pour into theatres to watch it.  And, it’s a little creepy seeing 40 year old women going crazy over some teenage guy.  The actual plot summary:

A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.

Alice in WonderlandThe entire movie is a parody, allegory, parallel, whatever you want to call it, for using drugs and tripping out, and everyone knows it.  The reason this movie creeps out everyone in the world is because it’s like the worst trip you ever had, and then it just drags on for awhile.  The actual plot summary:

19-year-old Alice returns to the magical world from her childhood adventure, where she reunites with her old friends and learns of her true destiny: to end the Red Queen’s reign of terror.

PreciousOprah Winfrey, pushing this movie out of obscurity, for no reason, since it probably should have remained there.  Unfortunately, since everyone seems to follow what Oprah recommends, this movie actually has a 7.5/10 on IMDB…?  The quick plot summary:

In Harlem, an overweight, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes that her life can head in a new direction.

  • Wdfw

    The guys that made these should learn to use a fucking spell check.

  • Blueshorts

    is Wdfw trolling or just that retarded?

  • Walter Melon

    The character played by Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino is not a “redneck”.

  • Walter Melon

    I like the new articles Mr. S.

  • Mai_xiong96

    That is not a poster of nightmare on elm street. That’s is Edward scissor hands

  • stupid people piss me off

    thats the point dumbasss…

  • Hawkseyez

    all blacks think a white person who is against drugs and crime is a racist redneck. saying someone is racist is the quickest way to rid themselves of the problem so drug sales and crime can continue. black folk need to clean up their culture before they will truely be accepted among everyone else. no other race on the planet is soo mainstream ridden with drugs and crime(pimping,blackmarket,dealing) as blacks. means alot of reverse racism and white man victims. doing wrong is doing wrong. like in this movie. stealing a car and him protecting it means he is a racist redneck. sad. this poster sucks ass totally.

  • JT

    Well if you go to all the trouble to make these professional looking posters at least you could spell the words right. “Carachters”?

  • mc

    That is a lot of weight to be putting on the black culture. Every culture has a vices that bring come people down, Plus Gran Torino did not even focus on African Americans, it focused on the Mong immagrants and their cultural down falls.

  • Mrldjohn

    Yes I think Hawkseyez has some issues of his or her own