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Never Stick Your Dick in Crazy: iPhone Texts

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“Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, stemming from an underlying fear of being alone.”

That’s the description for Borderline Personality Disorder, known colloquially as Batshit Insane Syndrome. It’s what you have when you text a person non-stop over the real (or imagined) fear that you might lose him or her because he doesn’t talk to you for a couple hours. It’s the kind of behavior that gets a restraining order placed against you in court, and the reason for so many breakups.

Go out with someone with BPD and you might just find yourself without a penis one night, on the chance that the sufferer thinks you’ve been unfaithful to her because you didn’t return her call that one time. This also applies to dudes—ladies, you know the clingy type who just can’t stop calling you.

The guy whose texts are in this gallery was unlucky enough to go out with such a person. Let it serve as a warning.