There is one marketing saying that pretty much everybody knows. Sex sells. This why there are so many extremely good looking people in all those commercials you see. From having supermodels hanging out with those average looking guys drinking beer, to having ladies with great butts show off those tight new jeans you should buy, there are many attempts to get your attention through base emotions.
We acknowledge that most people don’t mind these racy ads, but there is a line. That’s pretty much the only reason those Go Daddy commercials aren’t all 30 minutes long and directed by Ron Jeremy. Still, some marketing companies have designed ad campaigns that have seen the line of good taste and blazed across them. The results aren’t allowed to be shown on television, not even during the late night basic cable time slots, but luckily the internet has preserved them for your pleasure.
Ashley Madison Banned Super Bowl Commercial
For those of you who don’t know, Ashley Madison is a company that would like you to have extramarital affairs. After all, if you and your spouse are out banging everything you see, than you will both be far too happy to get a divorce. That’s how you protect the sanctity of marriage, people. Take notes. As you can probably tell, Ashley Madison is not the most subtle of companies. This proposed Super Bowl ad was deemed far too filthy for America, what with all the office sexcapades and infidelity. Still, I think it was a close call, as there have been other steamy commercials that have made it onto the small screen. It was those people petting the guy in bunny costume that crossed the line from enjoying some innocent booty showing to this just get way too freaky.
Budweiser Banned Super Bowl Commercial
It is extremely expensive to buy air time during the Super Bowl. It is the most watched program of the year, after all. This means that advertisers want to go all out with these commercials, doing everything they can to capture the audience’s attention. In this Budweiser example, the marketing team decided the best way to do that was with some very naked bodies.
The nude dive into the pool might have been close to gratuitous, but everything was covered up for the most part. The problem is that the Super Bowl filled its nudity quota with Janet Jackson showing off her nipple ring in 2004. That one slip made everyone very wary of showing off their most private of parts on national television.
Levi’s Peep Show
There is only a certain amount voyeurism that is allowed in commercials. The same goes for jokes relating to disabilities, such as blindness. While the results of mixing the two were hilarious in this commercial, it could definitely be seen as offensive to some. There are some sensitive people out there, who seem to have a problem with pretending to be blind to see an attractive woman change clothes.
You’d think that the fact that the woman being ogled was obviously a criminal of some sort would offset the voyeurism part of the commercial. It’s like offsetting penalties in football. The last move of her buttoning up those pants two inches from that guy’s nose pushed it over the line. You shouldn’t tease potentially blind guys like that, it’s just mean to push the limits of humanity just because you have a marketing degree.
Share Your Guinness
Oh wow. Ron Jeremy very well might be in that commercial. The bottle resting on the small of a woman’s sweaty back would probably be just acceptable enough for television. As soon as that back and forth motion was added in, the probability of this commercial getting any air time dropped to somewhere in the ballpark of slim to none.
Once it was revealed that this woman was engaging in sexual acts with Ron Jeremy and his friend, that probability somehow managed to drop below zero percent. Ron Jeremy’s other friend showing up out of nowhere, doing things only the truly depraved can imagine, dropped the probability of anybody seeing this video outside of the internet so low that mathematicians are still trying to invent a term to describe it.
PETA Likes Vegetables
You know what, we aren’t sure why this commercial was banned either. It’s just a bunch of attractive women in swimsuits enjoying their vegetables. Showing the healthy and fit bodies of women who eat their vegetables is great way to promote that sort of healthy living, this seems like a helpful and informative commercial.
The problem is PETA lost focus on their demographic. Sexy ads are almost always geared towards men, because they only think about sex, beer, and beer fueled sex. PETA made the mistake of trying to appeal to the ladies as well by throwing that guy in jeans into the commercial. That kills the mood set by the bikini models for most men, and reduces the chance that they will eat vegetables after the commercial, making the ad less effective. That’s the only reason this commercial could have been banned.