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Online Rankings: 5 Fictional Universities that Would Kick Ass

Faber College from "National Lampoon’s Animal House" - It would be easy to blame a single fraternity or even the poorly managed fraternity system for this college campus’ low online university rating. Not that there isn’t blame to go around when you realize that in one fraternity alone, the highest single semester GPA tops out at 1.6, an academic achievement that would put this college just below the school that Supercuts employees attend to get their masters in hair collecting.A larger problem lies within its hallowed halls, one that reeks of politics and corruption. They don’t just use monies from student funds as “honorariums” to bribe local officials or let sons of benefactors run the fraternity row. They railroad a perfectly innocent group of smart and articulate (albeit sometimes sober) students and ruin their educations in the process in the name of continuing tradition, even in the face of change.
Faber College from "National Lampoon’s Animal House" - It would be easy to blame a single fraternity or even the poorly managed fraternity system for this college campus’ low online university rating. Not that there isn’t blame to go around when you realize that in one fraternity alone, the highest single semester GPA tops out at 1.6, an academic achievement that would put this college just below the school that Supercuts employees attend to get their masters in hair collecting.A larger problem lies within its hallowed halls, one that reeks of politics and corruption. They don’t just use monies from student funds as “honorariums” to bribe local officials or let sons of benefactors run the fraternity row. They railroad a perfectly innocent group of smart and articulate (albeit sometimes sober) students and ruin their educations in the process in the name of continuing tradition, even in the face of change.

College and University are some of the most important decisions that parents and children will ever make in their lifetime. They are not just looking for a place that will earn them a degree and help them get a good job when they enter the marketplace. They want an institution that will mold and inspire their dreams and passions in life. They want a university that will not only show them how to make those dreams come to life, but also show them how to leave a positive mark on the world and help usher a new age of enlightenment and understanding for all of mankind. And if you can’t find one of those places for under $30,000 a year, just be thankful you’re not stuck at one of these scholastic sinkholes.

  • Wilbur

    Miskatonic University, Arkham:  One hell of a library!

  • Nick

    No love for the South Harmon Institute of Technology?

  • Mariasoto1484

    good post! thanks

  • Ereyes731

    no Blue Mountain State???

  • http://twitter.com/Wrestling_Stars James Trew

    South Harmon is the college of my choice.

  • Rstone2

    not to mention the swim team…

  • http://www.facebook.com/psbuchanan Peter Buchanan

    I wonder what the required SAT scores would be for any of these schools.

  • http://www.facebook.com/psbuchanan Peter Buchanan

    I wonder what the required SAT scores would be for any of these “schools.”